Tuesday, December 16, 2008

My Friend the Secret Service Spokesman

There I was, reading my blogs, being all unemployed and shit (again; I quit my job as editor at LA CityBeat last month). And what did I see in another funny story about the Shoenami but my friend Ed Donovan, Secret Service spokesman, giving a quote (as spokesmen tend to do).

I was in Crawford, Texas, at Camp Casey, reporting for the OC Weekly, when I met Ed. There wasn't a lot to do in that field by the side of the road but hang out with the AP photog (who took this bitchen picture), and hang out with Secret Service dudes, and hang out with two guys from Austin and drink Lone Stars in their pickup and make fun of hippies.

Weeeell, the old coot across the road started to fire off his rifle. It was, he said, dove season. (It wasn't!) So the other reporter and I ambled over (all the important reporters hung out in the air conditioned press room a mile or so away) and saw Ed intoning, "Sir, can we get you anything? Sir, do you need a cold cloth for your forehead?" while his partner said into his headset, with great frustration, "No, we did NOT authorize any shots!"

So having seen my buddy Ed was now the Secret Service spokesman, I called the Secret Service to get his email, but they just cold put me through to him instead, and we laughed and said hey and I asked him to send my kid another Secret Service T-shirt for Christmas (he'd sent one after we met) and he said sure and asked for my address and I think I will just start calling people and asking for Christmas presents, because it totally works.

The point of this is, I am friends with the spokesman of the Secret Service. WHO WANTS TO HIRE ME NOW?